My Special Friend

Sometimes I sit and stare for hours
They say his presence is here but I feel nothing.
Week after week Sunday after Sunday
The words are spoken and heard but hardly ever felt.
I clap, I shout, I know the words by heart but sometimes it’s all a farce.
Sometimes I think he’s probably made up by fools who know no better
Who make up rules and form tales of wistful hereafters.
Sometimes I just want to do my own thing.
Meet the man of my dreams, have a couple of kids and travel by boat to Timbuktu.
And when I’ve finally convinced myself that perhaps he cannot be real, found or known
Alas, there he is knocking at the door of my heart
He’s patient, he’s kind, he’s always a gentleman, never rude, never hasty
Always willing to take his time, but persistent.
I ignore him sometimes, he annoys me sometimes but I find it hard to resist.
He asks me to sup with him, to dine with him, to sit at his feet, he asks for a lot and I’m afraid to give
He knows I will struggle, I like to be in control I do not know him, I cannot trust the unknown.
But I have to admit that when I’m alone I often think about the hole in my heart that only he can fill.
For he sticks closer than a brother and loves harder than a mother.
He knows my fears, he sees my secret tears, he understands my pain and looks beyond my flaws.
I will probably never be quite good enough,he knows, I may never respond to him the way he wants me to, I may even out rightly reject him and be downright rude.
But he’s always there knocking, seeking and asking to be my friend.

Author: ndidindekwu

I am a woman who is passionate about educating and promoting the understanding of self and others, through storytelling. I love to take myself and my readers on a journey of self awareness by analyzing ideas, thoughts and emotions through written words. Do enjoy

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