The Man God Has For You: 7 Traits To Help You Determine Your Life Partner by Stephan Labossiere
I love writing and talking about human relationships. Love, family and friendships are at the core of what makes us human, and we all want to know how to navigate those relationships in such a way that brings us fulfillment,and sometimes when we can’t find the answers we are looking for in the secular space, we turn to spirituality to lead the way.
In all honesty, i love Christian literature, I love to read books on faith, I will always devour a good devotional,and so if it comes highly recommended chances are I will read it. About a year ago, I was browsing through my Instagram feed, when I saw an ad pop up for the book by author Stehpan Labossiere titled ”The Man God Has For You: 7 Traits To Help You Determine Your Life Partner’’, naturally I was intrigued.
So I read a couple of reviews on amazon and decided to give the book a try, I have to say, part of my curiosity lay in the fact that the book was written by a man. Now, I have read a few Christian relationship/dating books, I even recall that I thoroughly enjoyed Michelle McKinney Hammond’s ”Sassy, Single and Satisfied: Secrets to loving the life you’re living”,when I bought it a few years ago, but I find that when men talk about finding love it tends to be very straight to the point and direct,which is what I like so I was definitely going to give this book a chance.
First of all, this book reads easy, it’s roughly about 164 pages, so if you are a fast reader like I am, you can finish it in 2-3 days give or take. You will definitely want to have your highlighter and a notebook on you, because you will be taking a lot of notes. This is the kind of book that you will revisit frequently, just to make sure you haven’t forgotten any salient messages. It’s simple to follow, straight forward and very practical.
Now to the fun stuff, I think my biggest takeaway from this book is personal responsibility. Everything starts and ends with you making the right decision based on guidance from God, trusting your intuition as a woman,and being honest with yourself. Stephan makes it clear that you are actually in the driver’s seat, when it comes to deciding, who gets to be privileged to have you as a blessing in their lives.
He firmly believes that God has a specific man for every woman, but recognizing him is going to take some work on your part. Praying to God to ”send you a man” is not going to mean you fold your arms and sit back,you first need to prepare yourself by healing emotionally from your past, so that when he arrives, you will be open and vulnerable enough to receive him. You’re also going to have to get real and very honest with yourself, by stepping away from the situation and objectively looking at the man in front of you,not with rose tinted glasses, but examining who he is at his core and asking yourself if he truly measures up to the standard God has for you.
I am not going to lie, when people say God has a man for you, I truly believed that it was a specific man, that was a particular height,with a particular complexion, who had a specific job, etc you get the gist,ha!, and yes I still believe specific people are meant to be together for a purpose,but this book isn’t about that, I think this book offers something more tangible and realistic, I actually don’t think it would be a bad idea, to scrap your own list, and replace it with the list of things this book tells you to look out for, or have it as a guide if you will, on what you expect a man to bring to the table before you can possibly say that he is your potential spouse.
Now of course Stephan emphasizes that all things must be done in prayer,we can’t always just lead with our own understanding as Christians, he mentions that a man may not embody all traits perfectly,but we must be careful so as not to be easily dismissive, without seeking wise counsel in prayer.
There was a chapter in the book that absolutely cracked me up! when he talked about a prayer that all women say, myself included, and here was i thinking that i was doing the right thing!ha ha! without giving up too much away, i think it is safe to say, that when you read this part,if this book resonates with you, you are going to appreciate and agree with Stephan’s approach to the situation.
You want the man God has for you to desire you at his best.
It is becoming a common thing in society,where women are now expected to play the ride or die role,struggle love,and building up a man is seen as a sign of virtue, however it seems to me that,this approach consistently gives women the short end of the stick, a lot of times most women are left feeling bitter,resentful and used when they finally realise that they have only invested in someone who is looking for an upgrade.
He makes it clear, it is not God’s plan for any woman to build up a man. Both of you,should bring something equally to the table.
I don’t want to go into too much detail and spoil the rest of the book for you, overall I liked the book, and I enjoyed reading it, if you’ve heard about it and are thinking about getting it then you probably should. I’m a big advocate of looking inwards to solve problems, with external symptoms.
I believe everything starts and ends in life with the individual, I think love is great when it is done right, but I personally don’t think you can love someone properly if you don’t love yourself and you don’t ”learn” about love the way it’s intended to be shown, without a working relationship with God, because God is love , so you can read all the books you want and attend as many seminars as possible but if you don’t start with what is inside first, and be completely committed to practicing what is essential for you to see some changes in your own life then we have a problem, and i think that is what Stephan wants for all women.