6 Things We Can Learn About Wisdom From The Book Of Proverbs.

God is the ultimate source of wisdom, seek God get wise

What is wisdom? We define it as having the quality of experience, knowledge and good judgement. This implies a wise person has lived, learned, and is impacted with insight and discretion to make good decisions. Hence, we typically see wisdom associated with old age.

God wants all his children to be wise, we serve a God whose knowledge is complete, there are no gaps, he need not carry out endless hours of research to conclude a matter; he is eternal, his knowledge has no time limits, it is current, yet ancient; he knows all thoughts, feelings, plans, and desires,he is the source of all understanding. Therefore, he should be our first point of call, whenever we face challenging and difficult situations. But, wisdom from God doesn’t come easy (Proverbs 2:3-5), it’s reserved for those who are true followers. When we diligently seek God he freely gives to us the wisdom we need to exist in a way that pleases him, which is the best way to live.

Wisdom is the mind of God

By default, the omniscient nature of God implies that all his thoughts are wise, there is no error or fault in the way he reasons. We see it perfectly exemplified through the person of Jesus Christ our standard for righteous living. We also have access to the mind of God through his written word in the bible (Proverbs 1:22-23). The bible sets the standard for our lifestyle choices, the way we approach our relationship with God, our family members, peers and community at large, it also helps us to understand the nature of God, and what he expects of us as we navigate through this existence.

The fear of the Lord brings wisdom

When you reverence God, you respect and honor him enough to put him first place in your life. He automatically becomes your default life coach, you want to do things his way and not yours, so you diligently seek his direction and instruction in all matters (Proverbs 3:4-5). When we choose this path, it makes us wise, because we are deciding to live out our human experience in a way that is far more fulfilling and superior, than anything we can ever propose for ourselves. This doesn’t mean it will always be pleasant, or what we agree with, but it will the best for us and we will live effortlessly in obedience with God.

Be diligent in your search for wisdom and knowledge

Anything worth having will take some effort, sometimes we will have to pray and fast before we get divine instruction from God, we may have to commit to a daily sacrifice of bible study and quiet time, we may have to read books, blog posts (like this one), attend church services, seek wise counsel prayerfully, attend seminars all in our quest for knowledge. We have to be persistent, patient and purposeful about it (Proverbs 2:3). Wisdom is not something we gain in one year but a whole lifetime, however whenever we learn something new that is profitable for us, we must apply it and humbly share whatever we have learnt.

You must be humble to receive wisdom

God loves a contrite spirit, and there is very little you can receive from him without being submissive to his will, not least of all wisdom. Pride in one’s intellect, education, personal experiences, ability to reason and worldly knowledge (Proverbs 3:7) can serve as a stumbling block to receiving wisdom from God. You must come to him open and ready to obey. Be prepared to challenge your beliefs, God’s ways are not ours, they can confuse or even contradict what we expect, but they are always best for us.

It is a choice to be wise

Believe it or not, not everyone desires wisdom (Proverbs 1:22), I think the phrase goes ignorance is bliss. When you become aware, it makes you accountable for your actions, few people like this responsibility, they also detest the sheer hard work it takes to seek wisdom. It requires a willingness to do things God’s way; it requires humility, patience, sacrifice, study and sometimes giving up of habits along the way. Humans are rebellious, we have a hard time as it is taking counsel from our own parents, that prideful sinful nature keeps us away from seeking direction from God. Gods’ nature is not forceful, and he has given each of us the free will to choose the path we desire, it will serve us best to seek his wisdom in all things.

The Most Important Thing I Need This Year.

Who is excited about the New Year? I am still trying to get myself into work mode, my Christmas was quiet but I had a good time ish.

I’m ready to get back to business and give you guys’ great content. I honestly don’t have major New Year’s resolutions this year, but I have two things I would love to accomplish.

I thought about how I wanted to start this year out, and what message I wanted to pass across as my first post of the year.

We have before us 12 months and 365 days of unknown possibilities; we know some of those will be great, some will be average and some will be downright horrible, we may lose people we love or fall in love, we may get fired or land a job of a lifetime, we may go through depression or experience the happiest years of our lives.

Anytime I think of the New Year, I always remember what my mother says about how everybody prays joyfully into the New Year, but nobody really knows what the year will bring for them.

This is the year I am trying to live my life each day in a way that makes me productive, I don’t want to spend a bunch of weeks busy doing absolutely nothing.

I want what everybody wants, to be financially secure to take care of myself and have some savings in my bank account. I need protection against unforeseen circumstances, like health problems for instance, and Lord knows I need direction because I need to be sure that every day I am making the right choices that lead me towards my goals. I have made too many mistakes in the past, and sometimes life doesn’t give you second chances.

So this year I determined that I will no longer do things my way, I need help; I need to know what to do and how to do it. I need guidance, beyond what motivational speakers and self-help books can offer (trust me I read a lot last year), the reality is I need Jesus.

David declared in Palm 23, The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want, this is the level of faith I need to have in the power of God to guide and lead me so that there is no lack in my life in 2019. I am not just talking about having enough to pay my bills, I’m talking about finally getting traction in my career, and propelling my website forward.

I am talking about helping to give me wisdom so I may discover and walk in my purpose as a human being, I’m talking about being fulfilled emotionally, rich, abundant, full life.

So what exactly does a shepherd do?In our 21st century world I’m guessing a lot of us are so far removed from farming and agriculture that the representation of Christ here, might be difficult to relate to, I had to go look it up. I had this image in my head of someone who walks around with a big stick, directing sheep.

I was so wrong; I discovered my friends that Jesus wants to take care of you.

Sheep completely depend on the shepherd for everything. It is the shepherd’s responsibility to ensure the sheep are guarded against minor diseases; they are under his/her constant care; the shepherd watches out for dangerous predators, and they have to be alert against constant danger.

It is the shepherds’ responsibility every day to lead the sheep to forage in green pastures, the big stick I referred to (the rod) is used to lead the sheep in the direction the shepherd wants them to follow, the shepherd even assists the ewes during their lambing process, they require constant and undivided attention this is a role that requires dedication.

In John 10:14 Jesus goes on further to proclaim that he knows his sheep by their name, and when he calls out to them they hear his voice meaning, he has an intimate relationship with everyone; he knows us personally if we are his sheep to tailor make specific pathways for us to have abundant lives.

We are all individuals; we vary in our talents and temperaments, we cannot be sure that what worked for Ada will work for Michael, that is why it is important for us to seek guidance from the one who has promised that he is the good shepherd, he will lead us down the path of opportunities, places and activities suitable for us and will enrich our lives.

2019 is not the year we need to grope in the dark frustrated, we have assurance we will be led on a path that brings us fulfilment, this doesn’t mean however that life will be champagne and cupcakes, but we will fulfill our God given purpose.

This year I vowed not to write any resolutions, I tried hard but I wrote none specific goals, at least not yet. I have determined in my heart to seek God’s guidance above all things, I don’t want to trust alone in what I can project or what I can dream up; I want to depend on God completely to guide me down the right paths this year.

However, this doesn’t come just by wishing it. We need to develop intimacy with God, there has to be a personal relationship and familiarity built on a constant connection, how can we trust that God will he guide us down the right paths if we do not spend time with him and getting to know his character. I wouldn’t dare dream of starting a business venture with someone I met randomly at a party, I would take my time, studying their character, to know without a doubt they are trustworthy and reliable, that is how it is with God.

Likewise, I have to be obedient, this has to do with trusting that God knows what is best for me, even if I don’t understand what is going on. I can only accomplish true obedience if i have unwavering faith in God, which is built through prayer, spending time in his word and overcoming difficult challenges.

So guys I wish everyone an adventurous and fulfilling 2019 and beyond, let’s really trust and depend on God this year and watch him do great things.

The F word

Forgiveness

I have heard everybody from Bishop TD Jakes to Oprah say, that forgiveness is a gift you give yourself, letting go of past harms and moving forward is beneficial for you, you let go of bitterness and allow yourself the opportunity to move ahead, unforgiveness can be like dead weight you lug around, it weighs you down, if you forgive you empty yourself from an unnecessary burden.

But grace can be tough, when the pain cuts deep, it can be almost impossible. I don’t know if I would regard myself a forgiving person, my approach when I notice someone has wronged me,if I consider their actions to be irredeemable and they are not remorseful is to avoid them. I may not go around seeking to plot my revenge or wallow in a cesspool of bitter emotions and animosity, but instead I will deal with being scorned the best way I understand how by erasing you from my life, it would be as if you never existed. It saves me the trouble of seeking to be the mature one by absolving and letting go, but I also don’t have to carry around the pain of what you did to hurt me. As a word of caution I don’t think this solution is healthy, so that is why I wrote this blog, to tackle forgiveness.

What is the best approach to go about this whole forgiveness business. As a Christian I am expected to be forgiving always (Matthew 18:21) I will be sincere, this not sit easily with me, why? Because It seems as if you are offering an individual, unbridled autonomy to continue being an asshole.But on the other end, what does clinging on to past pains and retaliating do for us, sure it feels good when you act out, but when the blood thirst for revenge quenches does it make us better?We still know deep down inside, we are hurting, vengeance doesn’t loose us from the anguish of having our feelings hurt. It is like placing a band aid on a deep cut from a knife.

Sometimes I wonder, is forgiveness always about being wronged or more about our own ego, there is no excuse for betrayal in marriage, stealing from a business partner, or sharing stories told you in confidence by a friend, but let’s be careful not to let the ego and pride, provoke us to create mountains out of mole holes in situations where a simple, it’s okay never mind, would have solved the problem.

Being offended is becoming common in our society and narcissism is at the root of having an a ruthless spirit. People won’t consistently be perfect, they will mess things up, irritate and will disappoint you in ways that will astound you, and indeed worse still you are just as capable yourself of doing the same actions to them, nobody is above being the wrong at any point in time (Matthew 18: 23-35).Lord knows I have done things that have made a few people angry. 

 Guard against being unforgiving , and save yourself from emotional stress by providing room for grace.

ndidi ndekwu

 I am still learning to temper my expectations on human behavior, I and other human beings are intrinsically selfish at the core,it is our nature and because of this we will often hurt other people willingly and unwillingly, we will fall short.

 Ideally, we should strive to provide for grace for everybody, that might not always be possible, it is  entirely up to you to decide to whom and how much you will give space for forgiveness;  as a general rule of thumb,you must be open enough to do this for everyone you meet.

 It doesn’t make you a doormat, and it doesn’t mean that individuals will have liberty to walk over your emotions, if it puts you in a position of being in total command of your reactions and emotions.

Despite any of their antics you stay the same when people realize you are  unperturbed it makes them feel shameful and embarrassed at their own behavior (Rom 12:19-21). Leave vengeance to the hands of God, he sees everything.

Some people might read this blog and say well what about individuals who have dealt with sexual abuse, domestic violence and other heinous crimes inflicted on them, what business do we have to tell them to give room for grace, and you are right I have none.

 In those cases not as easy as just placing your ego aside and hugging things out, their wounds cause scars that may take years to heal, for them I will be forthright and say lay all that resentment, bitterness and even shame at the feet of Jesus, asides from you only he sees where it pains and how best to fix it, we live in a fallen world where terrible events happen to us beyond our control, but as justified as it may seem emotionally, holding on to that pain does us more harm than good, it can never make us happy in the long run.

Forgiving may not always be easy, it takes a lot of maturity and spiritual growth for us to come to a place where we can truly let go of hurts, but it is a gift that is worth offering to yourself.

My First Book Review

The Man God Has For You: 7 Traits To Help You Determine Your Life Partner by Stephan Labossiere

I love writing and talking about human relationships. Love, family and friendships are at the core of what makes us human, and we all want to know how to navigate those relationships in such a way that brings us fulfillment,and sometimes when we can’t find the answers we are looking for in the secular space, we turn to spirituality to lead the way.

In all honesty, i love Christian literature, I love to read books on faith, I will always devour a good devotional,and so if it comes highly recommended chances are I will read it. About a year ago, I was browsing through my Instagram feed, when I saw an ad pop up for the book by author Stehpan Labossiere titled ”The Man God Has For You: 7 Traits To Help You Determine Your Life Partner’’, naturally I was intrigued.

So I read a couple of reviews on amazon and decided to give the book a try, I have to say, part of my curiosity lay in the fact that the book was written by a man. Now, I have read a few Christian relationship/dating books, I even recall that I thoroughly enjoyed Michelle McKinney  Hammond’s ”Sassy, Single and Satisfied: Secrets to loving the life you’re living”,when I bought it a few years ago, but I find that when men talk about finding love it tends to be very straight to the point and direct,which is what I like so I was definitely going to give this book a chance.

First of all, this book reads easy, it’s roughly about 164 pages, so if you are a fast reader like I am, you can finish it in 2-3 days give or take. You will definitely want to have your highlighter and a notebook on you, because you will be taking a lot of notes. This is the kind of book that you will revisit frequently, just to make sure you haven’t forgotten any salient messages. It’s simple to follow, straight forward and very practical.

Now to the fun stuff, I think my biggest takeaway from this book is personal responsibility. Everything starts and ends with you making the right decision based on guidance from God, trusting your intuition as a woman,and being honest with yourself. Stephan makes it clear that you are actually in the driver’s seat, when it comes to deciding, who gets to be privileged to have you as a blessing in their lives.

He firmly believes that God has a specific man for every woman, but recognizing him is going to take some work on your part. Praying to God to ”send you a man” is not going to mean you fold your arms and sit back,you first need to prepare yourself by healing emotionally from your past, so that when he arrives, you will be open and vulnerable enough to receive him. You’re also going to have to get real and very honest with yourself, by stepping away from the situation and objectively looking at the man in front of you,not with rose tinted glasses, but examining who he is at his core and asking yourself if he truly measures up to the standard God has for you.

I am not going to lie, when people say God has a man for you, I truly believed that it was a specific man, that was a particular height,with a particular complexion, who had a specific job, etc you get the gist,ha!, and yes I still believe specific people are meant to be together for a purpose,but this book isn’t about that, I think this book offers something more tangible and realistic, I actually don’t think it would be a bad idea, to scrap your own list, and replace it with the list of things this book tells you to look out for, or have it as a guide if you will, on what you expect a man to bring to the table before you can possibly say that he is your potential spouse.

Now of course Stephan emphasizes that all things must be done in prayer,we can’t always just lead with our own understanding as Christians, he mentions that a man may not embody all traits perfectly,but we must be careful so as not to be easily dismissive, without seeking wise counsel in prayer.

There was a chapter in the book that absolutely cracked me up! when he talked about a prayer that all women say, myself included, and here was i thinking that i was doing the right thing!ha ha! without giving up too much away, i think it is safe to say, that when you read this part,if this book resonates with you, you are going to appreciate and agree with Stephan’s approach to the situation.

You want the man God has for you to desire you at his best.

It is becoming a common thing in society,where women are now expected to play the ride or die role,struggle love,and building up a man is seen as a sign of virtue, however it seems to me that,this approach consistently gives women the short end of the stick, a lot of times most women are left feeling bitter,resentful and used when they finally realise that they have only invested in someone who is looking for an upgrade.

He makes it clear, it is not God’s plan for any woman to build up a man. Both of you,should bring something equally to the table.

I don’t want to go into too much detail and spoil the rest of the book for you, overall I liked the book, and I enjoyed reading it, if you’ve heard about it and are thinking about getting it then you probably should. I’m a big advocate of looking inwards to solve problems, with external symptoms.

I believe everything starts and ends in life with the individual, I think love is great when it is done right, but I personally don’t think you can love someone properly if you don’t love yourself and you don’t ”learn” about love the way it’s intended to be shown, without a working relationship with God, because God is love , so you can read all the books you want and attend as many seminars as possible but if you don’t start with what is inside first, and be completely committed to practicing what is essential for you to see some changes in your own life then we have a problem, and i think that is what Stephan wants for all women.

Why words matter to me

Words are very powerful, not just what we say, but what others say to us, and what we allow to be internalized.

Why? Because words are a by product of our thoughts, ideas, value systems and what we believe to be true. The bible is filled with examples of how powerful our words are, in the beginning we are told that God created the heavens and the earth with his words. The bible warns us to be constantly cautious about what we say, we are told to exercise temperance in speech when we are angry, we are not to speak carelessly, refraining from idle gossip, it constantly implores us to speak good and kind words to lift each other up with our words, perhaps the most noted verse about words is found in Proverbs 18:21 “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits’’.

To me this means you tend to believe what you say about yourself and what others say about you, so you get to decide, do you keep saying and listening to things that poison you and crush your spirit or do you say things and absorb things that improve you.

Case in point, I was at the gym last week, and I was on the elliptical, I was reflecting on a YouTube video by a wonderful lady called beautiful brown baby doll, she had lost about a 100 pounds in 8 to 10 months, I was saying to myself, Ndidi, can you ever lose that much weight and actually be a skinny girl (not that I intend to, but hey you never know lol), I stopped myself and I was like why not?.

What is making me say to myself that it is impossible, and that I can’t achieve it if I desired it?.

I feel like most of us can be really self-deprecating, I have been doing some reflecting and I am beginning to realize just how much I internalize so much negative nonsense , I have ever heard spoken about myself idly or otherwise.

I’m still learning how to sift through everything that is said and has been said, and weigh it against what I know to be the reality. Spending time with Christ has helped me a lot, every day for 30 minutes, before I talk to anyone, I turn off all my notifications (that helps a lot ), I try to sit with God, I spend time meditating on his thoughts about me, what he speaks over my life and my situation, I put on some worship music which lifts my spirit and puts me in a good mood, and this somehow makes it easier for me to speak positively about my life.

It is helping me to put more thought into what I say, I have become more reserved in my speech, because I realize how words shaped my attitudes and actions over the years, I want to be more careful, I want my words to edify, I want them to sound more thoughtful, I want them to be honest without being hurtful.

They say sticks and stones can break your bones, but words can never hurt you, unless you believe them, then they can destroy you. So you see, my mind is ultimately the battleground. The bible says we should not be conformed to the world but be transformed by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:1-2).

We need the power of the Holy Spirit to transform us, I believe that in my natural state, my reasoning is flawed, no amount of education, knowledge and positive thinking, can change the fallen nature of the state of my thoughts, I can speak good and affirming things over my life each morning in the mirror but if my mind isn’t right then my actions will never be aligned to bring those thoughts and words into reality.

I can watch weight loss videos all I want on YouTube, meal prep properly, renew my gym membership but if I have not made up my mind to get healthy nothing is going to change. I can go to church every Sunday listen to inspirational faith based messages, but still deal with a myriad of personal issues if I don’t get my mind right.

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So getting my mind right is the first step in the right direction, that means spending time in prayer asking for the years of internalized negative and incorrect thinking about myself, about what I can and can’t do to be completely uprooted, even the ones that seem right and reasonable, this is should be a constant prayer point, remember always that the human mind is always in enmity with God, meaning it is not in my nature and (yours) to naturally to think about ourselves the way God thinks about us.

Read, read and read some more good news, the gospel is really great news, whenever I am struggling with my issues I go to the word of God and meditate on what God says, this helps to give me faith that I will overcome because I believe so much in the power of God’s word. Also I find that listening regularly to people who have a positive and practical outlook on life really helps. Renewing my mind is really a lifelong process for me some weeks I’m super diligent and some weeks I slack, I pray for consistency and grace, but more importantly, but I feel like everyone has a purpose, and in order for me to get to that place where God has destined for me to reach, I need to remove a lot of mental roadblocks I have placed on myself based on years of internalizing a lot of wrong things I heard about myself, God continues to teach me and I hope that I am humble enough to listen and take the necessary steps to be a kick ass babe and I hope you do too.

xoxo

Are you jealous?

Do you know anybody who admits to being jealous?, not the your dress is cute I wish I bought it type of jealousy, I’m talking about the my best friend just landed a fantastic opportunity and she gets to travel around the world, meanwhile I’m stuck in a two by four cubicle working countless hours without no recognition, but I have to act like I’m happy for her and not admit I secretly wish it was me instead even though we both know I’m the one who practically pushed her to apply for the job and coached her on how to excel professionally type of jealousy, yeah that one.

Nobody likes admitting that they are, because jealousy is the grandchild of insecurities and the step daughter to hatred and God forbid, we would want anyone to us perceive as such, especially when we call ourselves Christians.

First things first, it is normal human nature to feel this way, contrary to what people will have you believe, you will at some point in your life experience it and cannot for the most part avoid it even if you tried. Do not fear being jealous, you need to understand it for what it is, address why you feel that way and most importantly know what God says about it.

We are flawed. We wrestle with three problematic things that drive our nature, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life. We are its subjects,desire is at the root of jealousy,it is a double-edged sword,it can lead us to perform great feats but it can also cause us to carry out actions that cause great harm, to ourselves and to others, knowing this helps us to understand why we get jealous.

Have you ever wondered why we always want what we can have? Why we like nice things, why eating that extra slice of cupcake feels good even though we know we really shouldn’t (I digress lol). It is one thing to look at something and admire it, to appreciate beautiful things, or be proud of someone’s success. Ambition, and the need to improve ourselves, has propelled man’s survival since the start of time. However, it is a completely different ballgame when we start to feel inadequate or have shortcomings about our own lot in life because we perceive that other people have what we don’t.

In a social media driven world we can’t seem to escape other people’s success, and sometimes it sucks.

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Most people say other people’s success doesn’t speak poorly of you, but I tend to disagree. Life is all about social markers and hierarchies, and to a large extent it  determines how you are perceived and treated, case in point you drive a Mercedes, I drive a Toyota both do exactly the same thing but automatically, you can probably assess, if I go on holidays regularly, how many times I eat out a week  etc, perception is reality in today’s world, which causes problems, nobody wants anybody to think that they are less than, that annoying pest called pride will just not let us be ,we all want to be seen as the alpha male or the head babe in charge.

Nobody wants to be unrecognizable, we all have a need to be celebrated and a need to be seen as important, and when we see someone or know someone who we perceive is just like us or perhaps we think we are better than, ahead of us in the social pecking order be it in money, status, marriage or life we get jealous or envious because we think why not me? Does this sound like you?

Know this, God has no business in who is better than who, or who has more than who and you shouldn’t too (1 John 2:16). God made us originally to be perfectly whole and complete, not needing anything or anyone to validate us. Sadly, sin has made us disconnected and distorted our nature, we have become largely insecure and uncertain about our identity, we have created mechanisms and systems, markers and fleeting things to define our eternal existence.

God forbid we fall short in any of these areas and someone else seems to be getting A stars in all, then that green eyed monster rears its ugly ass head, because you see, we say to ourselves, since we do not have such and such therefore we do not matter, but they do, they have an identity but I don’t , they got the job and I didn’t therefore they are more valuable, they have the husband and I don’t therefore they are more appealing and I am not, jealousy and envy combine to form the poisonous cocktail which is hatred, because we conclude that they are somehow more secure and whole than we are because they have what we do not have but desperately desire.

”Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations” (Jeremiah 1:5).

God destined you for a purpose before you had your degree and before you got your worldly success, he didn’t wait for the world to say you a renowned bible scholar, he didn’t wait for you to get the job in a Fortune 500 company, he didn’t wait for you to buy the Maserati for him to deem you worthy for a purpose and an identity, even before your parents met, he knew he was going to use you for a purpose that you were specially designed for, meaning you don’t have to wait for the world to recognize and acknowledge you before you consider yourself a success, you don’t need to get jealous and upset if your friend has something that you don’t have, even if you deserve it because with or without those things, if you are in alignment with God’s purpose, you are still going to be all that God has destined you to be.

Don’t reject yourself, don’t let jealousy overwhelm you, stop fixing your eyes on other people’s lives on social media, stop keeping in touch with your friends only to assess who is where in the pecking order and where you belong.

Remember that life is an individual race, you will have your own pain, struggles, frustrations, joys and achievements and so will they, and nobody gets out of life unscathed. Your focus should not be on other people’s blessings but completely on how to please God and do his purpose here on earth.

We are in very feel good era in the Christian church right now, we tell people that blessings are an indication that God loves you, and they are very much so.

But that is not the complete story, I bet if you asked Job he would tell you something completely different. What good is your success to God if he cannot use you as a channel of blessings, that you pay thousands of naira or dollars in tithes doesn’t mean a whole lot to him if you are not manifesting the fruits of the spirit which are love, joy, peace and all that good stuff (John 15:8), and what happens next? You finally get what you’ve been craving, envying and striving for and when you die, eventually you will leave it all and face God who none of those things impress, what will you have to show for your faith?.

It is important to have goals that we strive for, achievement is the pinnacle of  human existence and important to living a fulfilling life to a very large extent, but also learn to abide in God’s word daily, trust, believe and affirm his timing for your life, so that you are able to guard your heart from things that are just not for you, I also suggest making friends or having mentors who are older and much more experienced than you, I find that they are able to give you a broader perspective on life, and the ups and downs it brings, lastly if jealousy tries to rear its ugly head, take a deep breathe, kick it in the head and say not today Satan, that usually works lol.

xoxo